My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize