Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
