I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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