I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
