Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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