I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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