Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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