I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
