The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were destined to go to rehab together
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
