Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Houston, we have a squirter
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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