Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
as a side note pls kill me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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