Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
