what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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