you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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