Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
