i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
