Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
