Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm too high and old for this...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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