Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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