I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
