He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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