Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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