I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
