She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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