I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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