The maid of honor just puked.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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