I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize