You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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