so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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