Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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