1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize