there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
