i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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