Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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