You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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