i permit you to call me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
