Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
