me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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