I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
