Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize