plz talk dirty to me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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