You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
