kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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