I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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