tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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