This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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