we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
