so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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