After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
