How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i drank out of a bidet.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
