So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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