i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This house was built for laser tag.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
