worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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