Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
