My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone came in the potted fern
My ass is underappreciated
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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