yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
