do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She bit a glass in half.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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