Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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