nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Be still, my beating vagina.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
