She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize