sarcasm needs its own font
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
