If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
