Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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