yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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